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         More Information Green: You put the dishes into the dishwasher with dried egg on them rather than pre-wash them wit 
VRP: You cannot do anything right, and you never remember anything. Green: You put the dishes into the dishwasher with dried egg on them rather than pre-wash them with the sponge as I showed you yesterday.
The person who hears such a statement is likely to doubt himself (or herself), and he (or she) may react with a similar statement in return, thus continuing the VRP drama. Stating the Observations, that is, staying with the facts of the situation (rather than using labels that judge or evaluate), leaves self-esteem intact for the hearer.

Observations about what has already occured will increase the chances that the hearer of the message will understand what different sorts of behavior may now be wanted.

The hearer will then be more likely to respond to the speaker, remaining free of a fight-or-flight VRP reaction.


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Team Edserve Inc. Pleasanton, CA, John Tompkins, Psychotherapist, MFT #7323
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