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         More Information Green: I want you to complete your algebra assignment before you go to the ball game. 
VRP: You need to do your homework. Green: I want you to complete your algebra assignment before you go to the ball game.
The word "need" here is a disguised "should", a combination Persecutor-Rescuer word choice.

While genuine needs are essential to living and breathing, saying that someone needs to do homework (or needs to take out the trash, or needs to call her mother, or needs to smile more) can invite either argumentative opposition or dependent compliance.
Saying the behavior that is Wanted in the Green statement above is clear and precise, free of the "should" implied in the VRP sentence.


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Team Edserve Inc. Pleasanton, CA, John Tompkins, Psychotherapist, MFT #7323
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