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         More Information VRP: You were nice to her yesterday. 
VRP: You were nice to her yesterday. Green: Thanks for holding out your hand when Grandma was getting out of the car.
While probably intended to be complimentary, "nice" is an evaluation word, and someone in a Persecutor or Victim mindset may believe that he or she is being told what "should" be done.

(Recall the old joke about the fellow who says to his wife as they are preparing to go out for the evening, "You look nice tonight," and she reacts, "What do you mean tonight?")
The owned appreciation of, "Thanks" is followed with the recognition of the Observation of what was done. The evaluation word, "nice" could be claimed as a Thought, and therefore Green, with a follow-on statement such as, "And I think that was a nice thing to do." Additional Green could be stated in the form of an owned Feeling: "I felt happy when you did that."


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Team Edserve Inc. Pleasanton, CA, John Tompkins, Psychotherapist, MFT #7323
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