Back About Us Contact Us Links of Interest People of Interest Testimonials


         Victim  

Guide your mouse over this image for links.
Victim

Victimhood as a self-concept and a way of existing is quite different from one being a genuine victim of natural events or emergency situations. The person in the Victim position in the VRP drama operates as if he or she were in the "down" part of a "one-up" / "one-down" interaction.

The "Victim View of Reality" is characterized by one seeing life as happening "to" him/her, being free of responsibility for bringing about improvements or changing what is going on in life. A Rescuer is looked for, and that Rescuer will be offered the opportunity to act as if he/she were responsible for making the "Victim's" situation better.

To portray oneself as a Victim is to attempt to enlist someone to Rescue oneself from some Persecutor. Note that this portrayal makes the "Victim" now a blaming Persecutor of the original so-called "Persecutor" (who is now the newest Victim in the drama). Someone else is to blame for their situtation and their unhappiness.

A "Victim" will be free of genuine problem-solving. They may put themselves down (at times in a sarcastic-passive-agressive way) while at the same time failing to genuinely acknowledge their own errors or shortcomings. They often fail to manage finances, food, intoxicating substances, recreational reading, television watching and video games. They will see themselves as helpless and powerless to change things. Despair and apparent weakness can be interspersed with angry tantrums.

Some Victim statements and thoughts could be: "It will take a long time for me to get over the pain you have caused."; "You never consider my needs."; "I don't deserve to be treated this way."; "It's all your fault."; "You made me do it."; "I feel so let down." See more examples below.

Stephen B. Karpman, M.D. was the first to identify the "Drama Triangle": Karpman, S. (1968). Fairy tales and script drama analysis. Transactional Analysis Bulletin, 7(26), 39-43.

VRP: Why can't I go? You always let Billy! more Green: I'm frustrated. Whenever he has asked, you have let him go each time. more

VRP: What? You didn't like it? I tried so hard to find something that would be nice. There's just no pleasing you, is there? more Green: I'm surprised. I thought that you would like the blue one. Please tell me if you'd like a different color or a different gift all toghther. more

VRP: There are things I just can't change. more Green: There are things that I believe are beyond my capacity to change. more

VRP: I can't keep doing this; I need help! more Green: I want to write down a list of different things to do, and I want to write down names and phone numbers of people who I know to be clean and sober. more

VRP: It's so not in my language to use Green. more Green: I've yet to train myself to speak and Think "In The Green". more

VRP: It's too easy to go back to my old ways. more Green: At certain times when I have felt hurt, angry, lonely, or tired I have thought of myself as a Victim and then tried to Rescue myself with choices that actually Persecuted myself. more

VRP: I have to start my diet. more Green: I have my diet to start. more

VRP: What good has it done to eat well and exercise!? more Green: I thought that I could use diet and exercise to leverage my life to live longer. Now since my diagnosis I've got more thinking to do about my future health. more

VRP: This is wrong and shouldn't be happening to me! more Green: I'm angry about this! more


Back ~  Page Review ~ 13768 ~  ©1976 - 2017 by Green Language®, All rights reserved.
Team Edserve Inc. Pleasanton, CA, John Tompkins, Psychotherapist, MFT #7323
Home  ~  Secure Login